Art of the Holeshot

The holeshot.  It’s like a unicorn carrying a pot of gold, snorting rainbows out of its nose.  It’s a magic door à la Alice in Wonderland or  Narnia.  And it’s a small door.  And if the Socks can get me through it “just so…” I’ll end up on the podium.

But maybe the Socks need some sparkling red Sidis or Specialized shoes to help out?  The kind where you click your heels three times.  Because so far that podium has been about as elusive as that unicorn.  And actually the last two attempts I didn’t even get through the door.

Holeshot October 29: Boulder Reservoir

I had looked forward to this particular race weekend since the beginning of the season.  A Halloween weekend that was offering up a spectator’s and racer’s delight of UCI CX courses at Boulder Reservoir and at Valmont Bike Park. But… I had the crud.  Head congestion like wall-paper paste and a hacking cough.

So that Saturday morning Tall Southern Guy drove me out to the race at the Reservoir.  It was a snowy and frozen course.  I pulled on black,  thigh high socks with “Wicked” written on the side and hoped for a miracle.  Feedback Sports rider Mike Schaub put it into perspective when he said to me, “Race while sick today and you’ll be out for 3 weeks.”

I had to agree with Mike that racing while sick didn’t seem super smart.  “Maybe I shouldn’t race?” I thought.  So I made a deal with myself that I would jump at the start and if I felt bad I would sit up.

The whistle blew and the Socks jumped into action, but not even the Wicked Socks could pedal under the suffocating weight of the wallpaper paste.  Holeshot? Fuh-gedda-aboud-it.  As they say on the horse race track “She couldn’t have ridden her way out of a wet paper bag.”

Not wanting to DNF I soft pedaled for the next 45 minutes.  And each lap when I passed Ref. Dean Crandall through the finish I stared at him intently, and silently hoped that he would find some reason to pull me.  Nope.

So that was that.  Definitely no racing for me the next day at Valmont.  Sunday came and I pulled on the cool spider Socks that I was supposed to wear that day and went out to cheer.

Holeshot November 5: Schoolyard Cross

With the crud just about gone I arrived at the race hopeful and determined.  Slid on the bat Socks and rolled out to the start of a super muddy course.

Whistle blows.  I jump and pedal. Fast. Fast as those bats could fly.  And the door opens…

…and I see Geoff Kabush with frolicking Weimaraners, and @AngryAsian morphed into this huge Gummy Bear.  And then, out of the corner of my eye, running in slow motion like Bionic Woman, is Elvis in an orange jumpsuit with a white belt and these blingy white shades…. oh wait, that’s Boups.  Oh wow… I really hit my head.

I had pedaled  full speed into a ditch, endoed and yard-saled.  That definitely was not part of the plan.  Also, not part of the plan was having the rest of field pile up behind me.

Nobody was hurt.  (Although I still can’t turn my head.) And I did finish the race.

So you are probably wondering if my romance with the holeshot is done?  You might also wonder if I’ve given up on the Socks?  Not a chance.  One of these days I’ll find the right combination.

 Out-takes:

A little on Kabush,  from Podium Insight, on cycling, dogs and more.

Continuing my no boundaries approach to Sock Cycling I offered Feedback racer Chris Case $10 if he would wear a pair of my socks in the Men’s Open Field.  He took the bait, but unfortunately the socks were too small.  Don’t worry Chris, I’ll find you a pair for next weekend.

Mike Schaub has been yelling “Go Socks!” for the last two years.  He actually might have given me that moniker. Thanks Mike!

I wish I had a pic of Aaron Bouplon in that orange jumpsuit.  I saw him just before the race started.  He really did make me think of  Elvis. In a hip and fit kind of way.  Maybe it was the chops?

Photography courtesy of Mountain Moon Photography
 

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